Entry 45: What if: I am infinite

AccidentalPerfectionistBlog

I am infinite.  I am worth more than the size of my home, my salary, or even the money in the bank account.  I am more than the number of (facebook or IRL) friends I have, I am more than the number of activities that my children are in, I am more than their good behavior, and I am more than their bad behavior. I am more than the state of my relationship, I am more than the compliments from acquaintances. I am worth more than the number of people who ‘like’ this poem.   I am more than the good deeds I have done, and more than the mistakes I haven’t learned from yet.

I am more than the sum of the value of each of these things.  

That means I do not need to make things perfect or appear to be so.  I am what I am at this moment and it is enough.

I do not need to do things to make myself skinnier, more popular, richer, busier, more fashionable, more powerful, more well-read, more cultured, more witty.  

I only need to do what feels right at any given moment.  When I take away those doubts about my worth, I uncover love, for myself, and for everyone around me.

Inhale and breathe.

That means everyone in the world, is infinite. Everyone is worth more than their home, salary or bank accounts.  More than their Twitter followers, more than the car they drive or the gadgets they own. More than the clothes they wear, or neighborhood they live in. More than the language they speak, the color of their skin or their citizenship status.  They do not need to make themselves more skinny, popular, rich, busy, fashionable, powerful, well-read, cultured, witty. For me or for anyone else.

What if each of us started out our day believing we are enough as we are in this moment?  

Entry 36: What if…? (yoga)

AccidentalPerfectionistBlog

When I was 25, and my yoga teacher said, “your heels may not reach the floor during Downward Dog, and that is ok”, I did not believe her.

When she said, “if you need to rest your hands on a block”, I heard her say, “if you’re not flexible enough, rest your hands on a block”.

When he said, “do only what you can while keeping your breath steady and smooth”, I thought, well, what he really means is, “real exercise makes you breathe hard, but this isn’t real exercise, it’s relaxation”.

When she said, “use the variation that feels right to your body”, I heard, “use the most strenuous of the variations that you can”.

When he said, “it can feel more comfortable to use a belt”, I heard him say, “since you have an unnaturally short torso, you’ll need to use a belt”.

When she said, “reach your arms as far as you can, without effort or ambition”, I thought she meant, “reach your arms as close to the floor as I can- if you keep practicing, you’ll get there”.

What if I had heard, the words that they said, instead of the ones that were in my head?