Entry 56: The scent and the thorns

AccidentalPerfectionistBlog
This moment contains the 
Agony of not knowing what tomorrow will bring, 
And the certainty that it will be the same.

It contains the fear of the dangers of the virus
And the knowledge that some have privilege to protect themselves

It has within it the gift of slowing down, for some, for myself,
And reverence for the teachers
It contains the struggle of being an ineffective substitute.

This moment contains my rage at those who say abandon your elders,
my disgust for CEOs who sacrifice their frontlines for profits.
It contains tender gratitude for our never-heroes: 
Garbage and sanitation, postal workers, grocery store employees.

This moment contains my breath and heart beat,
It contains my compulsive eating and elusive sleep

This moment contains healing for Mother Earth,
Cleansing her air and waterways.
It contains grief for the comforts we are leaving behind, 
And terror that we will design the same tomorrow.

It is a birth, as well as a death.  
It is the flowering of seeds planted long ago.

The flower is opening, 
Infinite beauty contained 
In one unfurling petal.

It contains thorns, too, and a sweet, sweet scent.  
It is a birth, and a death.  
i will not design the same tomorrow.
i will hold the scent and the thorns.

Entry 45: What if: I am infinite

AccidentalPerfectionistBlog

I am infinite.  I am worth more than the size of my home, my salary, or even the money in the bank account.  I am more than the number of (facebook or IRL) friends I have, I am more than the number of activities that my children are in, I am more than their good behavior, and I am more than their bad behavior. I am more than the state of my relationship, I am more than the compliments from acquaintances. I am worth more than the number of people who ‘like’ this poem.   I am more than the good deeds I have done, and more than the mistakes I haven’t learned from yet.

I am more than the sum of the value of each of these things.  

That means I do not need to make things perfect or appear to be so.  I am what I am at this moment and it is enough.

I do not need to do things to make myself skinnier, more popular, richer, busier, more fashionable, more powerful, more well-read, more cultured, more witty.  

I only need to do what feels right at any given moment.  When I take away those doubts about my worth, I uncover love, for myself, and for everyone around me.

Inhale and breathe.

That means everyone in the world, is infinite. Everyone is worth more than their home, salary or bank accounts.  More than their Twitter followers, more than the car they drive or the gadgets they own. More than the clothes they wear, or neighborhood they live in. More than the language they speak, the color of their skin or their citizenship status.  They do not need to make themselves more skinny, popular, rich, busy, fashionable, powerful, well-read, cultured, witty. For me or for anyone else.

What if each of us started out our day believing we are enough as we are in this moment?